Difficulties are Not The Reason To Give Up

Senin ülkende soy işim yok, değil mi?

"In your country there is no such a last-name thing right"

Evet Abi, yok

"Yes Abi, there's no"

Nasıl olabilir

"How can it happen?"

Geçip Gider, Geçip Gider

Rüzgardan mamüldür hayat, geçip gider. Geçip gider. Lakin fırtınanın dinmesini beklemek değildir yaşamak. Yağmurda dans etmek, kırılan bir bileğin üzerinde sek sek oynayabilmektir. Yani ki, yaşamak ciddi hadisedir. Başlayan her şey bitmekle kaimdir. En uzun, en çaresiz geceni düşün, sabah olmadı mı? Ey Adem, yazgının Sisifos’tan ayrı olduğunu kim söyledi sana? Hani şu, ömrü boyunca koca bir kayayı dik bir dağın doruğuna yuvarlamaya mahkum edilen bahtsız. Ne zaman doruğa ulaşsa kaya hep elinden kaçar ve Sisifos her şeye yeniden başlamak mecburiyetinde kalır. Yolu yok; bulup buluşturacak, gerekirse borç harç denkleyecek, umut edeceksin. Çünkü güneş yalnız umut edebilme kabiliyetine sahip insanların yüzü suyu hürmetine doğar. Karamsar olma hakkın yok. İyi olacağız! İyi!

Calıkuşu                

A Break

“Morning has broken, like the first morning. Blackbird has spoken, like the first bird
Praise for the singing, praise for the morning. Praise for the springing fresh from the world”

This boy needs a break, he is too long drowning inside the water where he shouldn't be.

He over thought too much that leaded him experiencing a chronic insecurity

Some People

Some people run too fast that they forget how long they have run and where the start line was
Some people break promises easier than breaking glasses
Some people come to your life as lessons while the others come as teachers
Some people came without invitation and leaving without any words left behind
Some people prefer being lonely, not that they're apathetic but because they know who worth their time
Some people overthink too much that left them in insecurities for centuries
Some people only come to you when they need you
Some people expect too much that they know reality is much worse than expectation
Some people live in cave for so long, make them rarely feel the warmness of the sunlight
Some people judge others by how they look instead of how they act
Some people wish life were easier while the others wish they were better
Some people walk too long that they forget where they stand

'Some people' is in everyone, some people rarely recognize it

Ben Introvert-im

Just yesterday I realized who I really was. It's like after losing for many years then you finally found your truly self. It's all started when I opened Facebook and saw a fanpage-who-seeks-for-likes-by-posting-memes posted "Dr. Camella's Guide to Understand the Introverted". I scrolled and scrolled before finally I realized that the details of introvert matched me. "Introvert" term isn't foreign to me, I've heard it several times but I never knew what it was until yesterday. So here's what was on the meme.

Sonbahar!!!

It's Officially Been 2.62974e6 Seconds

Hi everyone, you guys might wonder why I haven't posted any post in a while (okay this may sound like there were anyone care about what I posted in blog). So I was browsing around YouTube looking for watch-worthy videos before finally found a video that motivate me to make the video above. So why I made the video? Well, I realized that video tells more stories than picture and in case you were also wondering how the place I live right now looks like. I made it using Adobe Effects CS6, I had just started learning the software. I collected the video for 2 days, actually the total of the video length is approximately 1 hours and half, before ended up to be a 3 minutes video.

About The Loneliness

So I just felt how awful it is to feel isolated. Atoms which come from the similar group in periodical table still take times to recognize each other and not every single of them can bind to each other. Not every chemical compound can react and produce the desired product in a desired reaction rate. There will always be an unhydrolized glucose in every sweet liquid. There will always be alien particle in those what they called as 'pure' object.

Because differences were made to establish boundaries that confine human being from knowing each other. Because differences were also made to rid those boundaries out.

Turks' Responses Of Hearing Where I Come From

Turks :
Nerelisin? (Where are you from?)
Me :
Endonezya Abi.

Turks' responses :

Lost

The warmness of the sun woke me up

It was still early in the morning

When all you could hear was nothing

Before suddenly excitements fulfilled me

Made me so excited like I never before

And I knew I'd never be

Homeward Bound

Happy Birthday Mom

I love the way you send the "Mah doain aku ya biar bisa ke Turki" message to me. Message that I send to you like years ago.

I love the foods you make. Every bite of it is heaven. You never made a food that makes me lose my appetite

Language is Not A Barrier to Communicate

1. Yemekhane is the best place in dormitory (after ETUT, actually). The place where you can eat delicious cuisines for free (we have to pay a little sometimes, if our choices of menu are exceed). So there was this Abla (A polite way to call and older woman in Turkey) who works in Yemekhane. She is super kind (The others are kind too) but she never forgets to say Afiyet Olsun (literally means 'may there be appetite') every time I eat there. Until one day when I read something on the internet, I found the phrase to reply to afiyet olsun. I kept remembering the phrases, because I had wanted to reply Abla's sentence with it, to see how she respond to it. Then, the dinner time came, I picked the menu and abla said afiyet olsun, unfortunately I forgot the phrase. Ahhh, elinize sağlık why it's so hard to remember you?

The Most Wonderful Things

Tamam

Hoca : "jfksajflkahsfjhaskfjhkjsahfksajhfkjhsak, tamam mı?"
Öğrenciler : Tamam

Hoca : "nuahvcodhfsuifhaushfdjsahdas, tamam mı?"
Öğrenciler : Tamam

Hoca : "lklvkdsikjvoijoewjiojomfdlskalkdlskiwiew, tamam mı?"
Öğrenciler : Tamam

Because language isn't a barrier to communicate, your fear to talk to people is what limits you

A Glimpse of A Week in Turkey

Been traveling a lot
Well, it's not really a trip or something. But I count visiting new places just for registering something as traveling. Someday when I can speak Turkish fluently I'll travel all over the country.

No longer being a 'vegan' (a half-vegan)
I guess I'm no longer being a vegan, or half-vegan. I eat meats a lot here. I didn't like it at first, but as time goes, I'm getting used to it.

Been eating new species of foods
The foods in Turkey are a little bit tasteless, they don't put so much seasonings as we did in Indonesia. But overall, it still tastes good for me.

Preface 1

Around February 2006
That day I heard news that Al Azhar Syifa Budi (One of Junior High School that is located in Bogor regebcy) will make a Mathematic Olympiad for Elementary School students. I knew the representatives that would be chosen are those genius kids, those whom the teachers trained to compete in an olympiad. And that was not me, not a poor boy like me, a boy whose book supplies are limited. It's true, teachers didn't choose me as the representative for that competition. Days had passed, I heard that another Mathematic Olympiad would be held by PASIAD in Pribadi Bilingual Boarding School. I never knew why excitements fulfilled my body that day, in fact I didn't know what is PASIAD or where on earth is Pribadi Bilingual Boarding School. Finally, with 10.000 rupiahs as the enrollment fee I register for it. Another days had passed and the time had come, the day when the olympiad would be held. I departed from SDN Pajeleran 01 (Pajeleran 01 Primary School a.k.a my school) with my fellows. Once I arrived at Pribadi, I didn't go to the olympiad room directly because there were 50 minutes to go. Then, my teacher decided to wander around the school. Pribadi is really good, if it was a girl it would be so gorgeous. Pribadi looked like a school in western movies that I saw from TV. Whereas it looked so small from the inside. I had never been in school this good before, my school's table is full of random doodles and hole on some part of it because it's eaten by termites.Wander and wanter, till my eyes found a room with "Turkish Language Laboratory" on it. I asked on my mind what is Turkish language? Where is Turkey? Unfortunately the bell rang, means the olympiad will be begun soon. So that day I left myself in a big curiosity and it never ceased to cross my mind.

Time Traveler

London on 70s

Call me lunatic. Call me insane. But......
If a genie could grant a wish, I'd beg to ask to come to London on 70s.
If there's anyone who could invent a time traveler. I'd love to spend my money on it to come back to London on 70s.

Beasiswa S1 Pemerintah Turki (Turkiye Burslari) 2015/2016

Credit to Tanju for the correction

Pertama, saya ingin mengucapkan selamat kepada teman - teman, karena dengan berniat membaca post ini berarti teman - teman sekalian sudah memiliki keinginan yang kuat terhadap apa yang ingin dicapai ke depannya. Kebetulan ini juga post pertama saya yang menggunakan Bahasa dan saya sangat berharap sekali kalau post ini nantinya bisa membantu teman - teman dalam meraih mimpinya. Sekali lagi saya juga berharap setelah membaca post ini membuat semangat teman - teman menjadi lebih berkobar daripada sebelumnya.

Why Turkiye?

"Kok Turki Ries? Nggak Amerika atau negara adidaya lainnya?" "Turki, negara yang sering demo itu ya?" "UInya dilepas?" "Turki? Bahasanya Arab - Arab gitu bukan sih?" "Wah, Turkiiiii aku juga mau kesana" "Turki? Di mana sih lokasinya? Yang wilayah Timur Tengah gitu?" "Memangnya ada apaan di Turki?"

"Why Turkey? Why not America or the other superpower countries?" "Turkey. isn't it the country where demonstration occured frequently?" "Do you resign from UI(University of Indonesia)?" "Turkey? The country which use Arabic language as its native language, isn't it?" "Turkey? Where is that? Isn't it located in Middle Eastern?" "What's in Turkey?"

11:53 Post Meridiem

We often see things in a wrong way that we mistook uncountable amount of things. We sometimes run passionately fast that we forget where the start line was. We do feel the moment where insecurities sip trough our blood. We also live in disappointments so long and rarely recognize the good things that occur around us. Well it's 11:53 PM and I'm still waiting for something undefined, something that I thought it will change my whole life. Living in insecurities and regret has been my daily routine in this month. I'm easily disappointed by things, in fact I'm not a perfectionist but I always expect things to be flawless all the time. I miss writing long post, I really got so much thing on my head that I couldn't arrange it into a sentence, a perfect sentence technically. So, enjoy your life and here's a picture of cute kitten that 16 days ago was freshly delivered from it's mother's womb to make you smile.

Not A One-Word-Titled Post

I still woke up like usual. At 5 in the morning, when there were only my parents and my little brother, asking me that he wanted to play Ragnarok. The rain poured down in the dawn in this last three days. The temperature is 19 degree celcius, I guess. I decided not to go to campus this week, well, you may think it's because the assignments, quizzes, mabim* and whatsoever. I could say thay you are right but you're not 100percently right, it's not really the reason. The quizzes and assignments may scare me, but no, I have got used to it. Those are what I'm living with. I'm just afraid that I'll get attached to what I'm living for right now, so tight that I can't get enough of.

Superman

Got so much things to tell to, but not in the fittest condition to write. So, I decide to post this video to express what I really feel right now

Old Letter

Jakarta, 13 Juni 1998

Peluk cium

Buat Nanda Haries

Sekeluarga di Bima

Aries............. sini dong!

Aries nyanyi dong, pasti Aries sudah pintar nyanyi Bima,

Aries kalau mau pintar nyanyi Bima, belajar dong ama Kakak Dian, Kak Ning, Bang Husni, Bang Arief dan Bang Leo juga Abang2 dan Kakak2 yang lainnya.

Mixed Feelings

Well, so much to write. So much to tell. I just couldn't express it.This week was kind of tough and messed up. When you couldn't be happier yet sadder. It's not that I was born to be an egoist or something. But everyone has dreams and by dream I mean everyone expected it to happen as soon as possible. If you think I'm always fortunate, no big NO. I've faced failures, probably more than average people did. I just want to declare that I'm so overwhelmed right now but the other side of me surrounded by deepest sorrow. Well, you have to sacrifice one, to get the better one or even the best. Don't let trivial things tear your life. It's easy to make decision as long as you have God as the guide and dreams as the pathways.

68 Years Ago

68 years ago, dreams successfully excited the 'independence' atom from the electronegativity of colonizer's tyranny. 68 years ago, there are thousands innocent bodies, left unconciously on the roads because of defending a red-white colored cloth. 68 years ago, this nation was just a wreck where slaves lived and where they were tortured.

I'm not a nationalist nor a person whose feeling of nationalism is abundant. I am rarely proud of being born and delivered in this country. But it doesn't mean that I don't love this country (I used to), just because I don't say it doesn't mean I don't love it. 10 or 20 years from now, I'll make this country as superpower as America, no more jobless, no more homeless, no more uneducated society.

Even many contries that I (inshaAllah, would) have visited, which are famously gorgeous, But my village and home, only there I feel truly happy, My land that I won't forget, I am proud of you.

MERDEKAAA INDONESIA!

Coming Back to Reality

I used to imagine reality was a place that is far away from the earth, hundred, thousand, or even billion light years away. I define reality as the place where probability still exists, where your sleeping pattern and reading list are screwed up, where your expectations are less-likely to be realized. Ever you heard the Parallel Universes theory? or the Schrodinger's Cat one? It's a notion that there are many kinds of 'we' in reality. It's like when you're eating buy-able cuisines in this part of universe, in the other part you're living broke with nothing to eat and in the other part of universe you're drinking a cup of coffee in a beautiful palace. And that's all happened at the same time. I always wonder what the other 'me' will do if the parallel universe really exists. Are they living in a reality which has small difference from what I'm living or they are living in all-of-their-expectations?

Ephemera and Ephesus

 If I could come, I would. It's worth my time, it's worth my whole life. I'm not gonna run, I'm just gonna walk. I know the air is going to smell different, the smells of 1000 years old carbonate. It's not polluted, it's not harmful. The history gives the scent. I'm not gonna waste every liter of the oxygen. Travels to the Library of Celsus. I'm gonna borrow the book, spending my entire life inside there. Temple of Domitian, Temple of Hadrian and the gorgeousness of Temple of Artemis. I wasn't talking about Percy Jackson. It's Turkey. The place where never-cease-to-amaze-you histories belong to. You wouldn't believe it. I know you wouldn't.

This is Your Life

 “This is your life. Do what you love, and do it often. If you don’t like something, change it. If you don’t like your job, quit. If you don’t have enough time, stop watching TV. If you are looking for the love of your life, stop; they will be waiting for you when you start doing things you love. Stop over analyzing, life is simple. All emotions are beautiful. When you eat, appreciate every last bite. Open your mind, arms, and heart to new things and people, we are united in our differences. Ask the next person you see what their passion is, and share your inspiring dream with them. Travel often; getting lost will help you find yourself. Some opportunities only come once; seize them. Life is about the people you meet and the things you create with them, so go out and start creating. Live your dream, and wear your passion.“ - Tumblr

Prologue

 

 So, here I am, on the first 6 days of August. The dog days are almost over, but they aren't really hot days because the rain pours down sometimes, the global warming has affected the climate so much. The first semester a.k.a freshman year will start in September and I didn't go anywhere, still at my home, with a bunch of dreams that I wrote on my binder book trying to enjoy my life as best as I can. Been reading so much books that I probably need to change my glasses lens because of the nearsighted thing.

Cosmos: A Space-Time Odyssey

Been on Youtube and finally found Cosmos: A Space-Time Odyssey trailer. Well if you never heard of it, it's a TV series that will be aired on Fox in February, 2014. The best part is it will be presented by my favorite astrophysicist of all time(after Carl Sagan), Mr. Neil deGrasse Tyson. It's actually a follow up of Cosmos: A Personal Voyage which was presented by the genius Mr. Carl Edward Sagan B.A, BSc, MSc, PhD

Virtual World Strangers

"1. A person who does not know or isn't known in a particular place or company

2. A person one does not know"

- Oxford Dictionary

  

For me the real definition of stranger is they who come to your life, you barely recognize them and try to understand them. Strangers can be everywhere, whether it's abroad(foreign) or domestic, whether it's young-adults or person who is on it's mid-late 50's, whether it's in real life or virtual life. Strangers are different from people whom we met in the real life, you judge strangers like you judge character in a book, you judge them from their personality, their words, the way they write, because you never behold them, even it's a direct glance so much different if it's compared to judge a real life people or character in a movies, we mostly judge them from the way they look, even though many people do say "I don't judge people by their face" they can be honest but in other hand they could be lying.

The Age of Worry

Know your fight is not with them
Yours is with your time here
Dream your dreams but don't pretend
Make friends with what you are

I've been living for 17 years in this world and by 17 it actually means transition phase,  from a labile teenager into a young-adult. I'm in the age of worry. When you find yourself not good enough. Over-thinking almost everything.