“...maybe you're right, I did”

“You changed, I don't even recognize who you are”

“I did not... as to I am not and I will never”
<silence>
“Maybe I just stopped being what you expected me to be or you dreamed me to be”
<silence>
“....or maybe you accustomed to your new life and forgot who I really was”
<silence>
“....or you just don't know me, you haven't seen the real me”
<silence>
“or maybe you're right, I did.”
<long silence>

Coincidence

Maybe my money travelled so far and without your knowledge entering your wallet. Maybe we were taking the same train but taking off to the different station. Maybe we were listening to the same song and at the same time thinking of each other. Maybe we were dreaming the same dream. Who knows.

- After listening to "Eyluk Aksami"

A Song

One day if God's fate wafts me to a point where I have to walk away from the people I loved. I'll not leave them with presents nor mementos. Presents, they can lose them and as time passed it lost its value. I'll sing them a song, not because I was born with an angel's-sighing-quality-kind-of voice. But because I put all my hopes that whenever they listen to the song that I sang they will remember me. In the cafes, roads, pubs or wherever they'll listen.

5 months away from moving

Don't Judge Writers by Their Writings

To write is to lie. Soups, if you don't put any seasoning into it, it may not be tasty. Like writings. A word holds thousand meanings. A paragraph buries thousand lies. A page tells hundred different dramas. Without your knowledge some writers arrange words in a very mind-blowing way, because essentially writings are made to evoke enigmas. For me writings are riddles that could only be understood by its author. Even if there's one who understood, it wouldn't be exactly the same as what the authors have been thinking. You might said a writing tells mournful story or guess it as a happy ending story, but who knows what does it really mean or what does lie on it?

Go Out!

Things That Most of People Forget

You couldn't judge a fish by its ability to fly, crossing every continent. You couldn't judge a bird by its ability to swim in the arctic. Some people can solve hundreds math problems in an hour. Some can throw the dart exactly to the red point without glancing over it. Everyone was born with their own capability. Things that most of people forget.

Title-less

It will always be lovely to listen to the marching sounds of the bells ring from the lambs that wander around in the meadow behind the dormitory. Bursting the stillness, seeping through your vein like musical notes, exciting every electron that remains silent.
Don't want to forget to mention the barking of the dogs which harmonically soothes the urge to shriek inside.

Sometimes you just need the moment to be alone without people intervene every minuscule part of your life, to flash back how did you escape from the last 17 years, not because you execrate boisterousness nor loathe companion but simply because you wanted for it. I like everyone and it bestows me pleasures to make friend with every single person I met in the crowdy road. But the reality is not everyone stands in the same position of your friendship or lover chain. Some people make you happier and you don't want to lose them even for miliseconds, some couldn't stop making you angry with their attitudes and annoyances, some are simply just friends, saying hello and asking how are you then pretend nothing happens in between.

Sometimes I regret of how easy I made new best friends. Especially when I knew I'd move next year. For 4 years. But that's life right? or but that's a collecting-as-many-hellos-and-goodbyes-kind-of adventure right?

Hareket Ederiz

We're just stardust who live in the stardusts

Days passed. I forgot how it feels like to be sad. I wish I could have passed a day with sorrowful mask on my face. Unfortunately, everyone never allowed me to. I wish every step that I will step on tomorrow will be lesson. So It wouldn't cross my mind to blink even just for a second. Because I don't want to miss a moment. Because I'm a miner and for me every second is equal to new rare mineral that buried deep beneath the earth. I want to inhale different odors of oxygen. I want to shake different types of hands. I want to stand over the different species of bushes. I want to move. Keep moving, like neutrinos. I'm the one who hold on tight to the permanency doesn't exist point of view. For me everyone is nomad in their own way. Some could find the route and who they really are, some decided to stay and plan a new route to go. I want to make friend with more new Hellos and Goodbyes. Hellos to teach me how valuable things are and how bad I'll long for some people and Goodbyes to teach me how valuable new things are and how bad I'll love some people.

Cases

They said you will meet new people everyday. The same people but in the different expression of moods. Some may be better than yesterday while the others are far from what you had expected the night before. As time goes you learn how people are. Time slowly unveils who is real and who is fake. Dilutes their mask part by part and shows you what they truly are. Some may accept it because it is what they want, some try to accept but then deciding to stop because they're exhausted while some left because it doesn't meet their requirements. At the end everything will come back to you like Russian Roulette. If people hurt you, forgive then leave, even though they don't even throw any apologies to you and you feel like you want to punch them in the face with Obama's chair. You can tolerate but when it's too much just think that second chance doesn't exist in 2014. Life is too short to depress over something that isn't even important to you. Relax yourself, even materials have their own fatigue point. Because essentially life is more complicated than formulating action is equal to minus reaction thing. Leave what you need to leave, keep what you need to keep, don't waste your precious time. 

Egos

Days go as hot as if we're in June, savoring the abundant photons. Night? What is night? Is it 'you'? Because I couldn't distinguish both of you two's coldness. I lied, I know night well but unfortunately not as well as I knew you. Night, it couldn't be colder than liquid nitrogen. Precipitation, they're unpredictable, just like human. Or predictable, but it won't always be true. They said you have to build a rivalry so it means you have stood for something. But why do we build one? Aren't we all the same? Aren't we all made of stardust? Isn't the place that we're standing right now also stardust billion years ago? So we're the same right? What 'do we have to stand for' then? Our egos? 

Well I guess I need to stop sleeping in the otobüs. 

Invisible Tiny Threads

Every single thing in this universe happens for reasons. The leaves that shed off of it's stalk, the sand that moves periodically inside of an hourglass, the cranes that migrate for long distance journey, the nervous cells that transmit stimulus to the effector and the ripped fruits that experienced free fall motion from the highest branch of it's tree. Without our knowledge every thing in the world had been connected by invisible tiny strings to each other from a long time ago. Two, thirty two, nine, two, forty three, twenty four, one hundred and ninety. Making sequences that we wish were understandable either digest-able by our brain cells. Our lovers, friendship that we built, family in home, foods that we ate today, bus that we will ride tomorrow, it's connected to us. Some can see how the patterns work. Some are just too blind to realize the existence of such things. These bonds can't be broken nor can be created. You can go so far away from every thing that had been destined to live with you, the point is no matter how far you go the bonds wouldn't be broken off, it's just getting loosened and loosened and you'll comeback to it in an unknown amount of time. The same case also applies when you are trying to fit in into something that wasn't destined to you, you can be a part of it, but one thing that you should remember, you're acting as the supernumerary role not the main role.

Zwei Sıfır Nol أربعة

Moon revolves, earth rotates, season goes without farewells. For 23 hours, 56 minutes and 4 seconds we experience the darkness of thing that we called night and another one is the period when melatonin is produced abundantly.

Graupel falls, wind blows, sun burns without notices. For 27 days and 8 hours we experience the moon dance, showing its expressions from crescent to full.

Differentiation occurs, age increases, people left us with false hopes. For 365 days, 6 hours and 7 seconds, we experience so much unbelievable things