Ben Introvert-im

Just yesterday I realized who I really was. It's like after losing for many years then you finally found your truly self. It's all started when I opened Facebook and saw a fanpage-who-seeks-for-likes-by-posting-memes posted "Dr. Camella's Guide to Understand the Introverted". I scrolled and scrolled before finally I realized that the details of introvert matched me. "Introvert" term isn't foreign to me, I've heard it several times but I never knew what it was until yesterday. So here's what was on the meme.

Introverted people live in a human-sized hamsterball (Not really but you know what I mean). The major trait of a true introvert, as opposed to someone who is withdrawn is how they gain their energy energy. Introverted people make their own energy and rather than taking it from others, give it on social contact. This means that they naturally find most interaction exhausting and need time to recharge.

True, I did find most of interactions exhausting. That's why, when people asked me to go somewhere or going out, I pretend like I was busy doing something. In fact I was either playing with my PC or rolling with several classic books.

Just because someone is introverted doesn't mean they don't like company. Interaction is expensive and they don't want to spend it on something annoying (read: wasteful).

Couldn't be more true. It's not that I want people to care to me, but no. I used to live alone in my bedroom with my PC and internet on, wasting my times reading disturbing or mind-blowing scientific facts, chatting with random strangers. Because I find it cooler instead of doing football or going outside. I do love going outside but for something that worth my time.

Say hello, be polite and relaxed, show that you recognize and approve their presence. It is important for introverts to feel welcome. They won't spend their precious energy for someone who doesn't want them around.

I expect too much from people. I can't stand kind people. Once I get attached to someone, I'll be like "Uhh.. I got a friend". It may sound stupid, but that's what introvert does, what I do. Especially the fact that I spend so much time in my 'cave'. I do have what you guys called as 'friends', I mean who doesn't. But my perspective or definition for a friend is different. It's not like when you meet people and you talk with them then you can easily mark them as your friend, NO it sounds more like McDonalds Happy Meal to me.

Last but not least.........

Introverts get lonely too

So I do research of what Introverts really are and keep making me feel like I'm one. And finally I found this one.

So here are a few common misconceptions about Introverts (not taken directly from the book, but based on my own life experience): 

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk. 
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days. 

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy. 
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite. 

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude. 
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting. 

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people. 
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in. 

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public. 
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone. 
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird. 
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy. 

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds. 
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them. 

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun. 
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up. 

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts. 
A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers. That being said, there are still plenty of techniques an Extrovert can learn in order to interact with Introverts. (Yes, I reversed these two terms on purpose to show you how biased our society is.) Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ. 

(source: http://www.carlkingdom.com/10-myths-about-introverts)

“Introverts, in contrast, may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while wish they were home in their pajamas. They prefer to devote their social energies to close friends, colleagues, and family. They listen more than they talk, think before they speak, and often feel as if they express themselves better in writing than in conversation. They tend to dislike conflict. Many have a horror of small talk, but enjoy deep discussions.” 

Susan Cain

The fact is I can't change who I am, even if I try to, even if I wanted to. I enjoy being who I really am right now and no one can't change me. I was lying if I ever said "Who needs living things when you can live in prosperity with books and internet". Introverts get lonely too especially when you're thousand miles away from where you must be at.

Thank you guys for reading, wish you a good day!